your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Randomize
