No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
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