Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
