And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
