I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
