and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
