Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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