You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
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