HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Randomize
