I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
soo... how was my night?
Randomize
