I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
We had sex on a dog bed..
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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