So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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