She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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