It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
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