Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
