I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
