I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Randomize
