ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
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