What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
