He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Define "chronic" masturbator.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
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