I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
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