Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
