if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
me + whiskey = a bad person
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Randomize
