He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
