He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
