My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
