Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize
