i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
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