Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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