awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
