so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
