I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I'm both gender and math confused
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
