Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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