just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
