It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
nutella sex= disaster
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
