the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
