we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
I FOUND THE LEGS
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
