I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
