...so i touched it.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Randomize
