U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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