Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Randomize
