we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
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