So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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