spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
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