She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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