the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
