I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Randomize
