this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
