Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
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