yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
