I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
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