Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
