Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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